If You Can’t Say Yourself, How in the Hell Are You Gonna Say Someone Else? RuPaul’s Stats Race, Season 13, Episode 14

Posted bylouieb2009Posted inReality TV Lists, RuPaul's Drag Race, Rupaul's Stat Race, TV Lists

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Hello hello! I recovered from the allergy and sinus attacks from hell just in time to go back to work after spring break. I don’t know where the word hero came from but I’m far too modest to accept it, thanks. Anyway, enjoy!

THOTS

  • What a fun idea conceptually, but sheesh was that skit awfully written and about 4000% longer than it needed to be. It’s always so cringe and embarrassing when we get to these late season acting challenges because the quality….
  • Kandy having to play the giant cat off-screen was peak Covid weirdness.
  • Gottmik and Symone’s looks KILLED. They are in a league of their own on the runway and have been all season.
  • Olivia answered, “who should go home and why?” in the only possible way that is worse than saying yourself- she said “well I can’t say myself but also can’t say anyone else…. (blank menacing stare from Ru) fine, Kandy”. I wanted Kandy to approach with her full venom like she did with Denali but alas- Kandy couldn’t even be bothered.
  • Cynthia Erivo clearly cut the line for the vaccine. That’s the only explanation I can think of for her being the first new guest judge this season outside of Nicole Byer, Loni Love, Ts Madison and Jamal Sims. I love her, but she was getting her life in a very fake-fan Vanessa Hudgens way for me that was too much.

CHART

  • With the win, Rosé moves into sole possession of 1st place for the first time this season. The final 4 challenge often doesn’t have a winner, so she likely will finish the season in 1st place. It’s a wild and impressive comeback since she lost her lip-sync in the first episode twist.
  • The chart was insanely good at predicting who would go home this season. Last season, only 4 of 9 times did the queen ranked last on the chart go home the following week. This season, it happened 6 of 9 times. I think it’s a sign that the show is being more formulaic and predictable (not to downplay my own statistical prowess).
  • On that note, the top 4 were all incredibly consistent and well-performing all season. Gottmik only received low critiques and negative points on the chart one time all season (for the soda branding challenge). Symone’s two times lip-syncing were her only times not being safe or high. Rosé was only ranked low one time (the makeover challenge) after losing the first episode lip-sync. Kandy has been in the bottom 2 a total of 3 times but hasn’t been ranked low at all otherwise. It’s all pretty impressive given that there’s been 14 episodes.
  • We finally said goodbye to the obnoxious infantilized cheerleader of my nightmares. Too harsh? Even I, her ultimate hater, can’t deny that Olivia is stunningly beautiful, and highly impressive for a queen so early in her career. I can easily foresee her returning in a few years as a more fully formed (and hopefully less vapidly sunny) queen on an All-Stars seasons. I will so cherish this next episode, which may be our only reprieve from having to hear Olivia use the word “Live” in a sentence and think its clever. Best of luck girl.
  • Kandy survived 3 lip-syncs- which is super impressive (though she did flat out lose that one against Symone). Kandy’s 3 is the most lip-syncs survived by anyone in the final 4 since Kameron Michaels survived 4 in season 10.

PREDICTIONS

  1. Gottmik (=)
  2. Symone (=)
  3. Rosé (=)
  4. Kandy Muse (=)
  5. Olivia Lux (Preseason Prediction: 5th, Most Recent Pre-Elimination Prediction: 5th)
  6. Utica (Preseason Prediction: 7th, Most Recent Pre-Elimination Prediction: 6th)
  7. Tina Burner (Preseason Prediction: 9th, Most Recent Pre-Elimination Prediction: 7th)
  8. Denali (Preseason Prediction: 3rd, Most Recent Pre-Elimination Prediction: 7th)
  9. Elliiott with 2 Ts (Preseason Prediction: 13th, Most Recent Pre-Elimination Prediction: 9th)
  10. Lala Ri (Preseason Prediction: 6th, Most Recent Pre-Elimination Prediction: 8th)
  11. Tamisha Iman (Preseason Prediction: 12th, Most Recent Pre-Elimination Prediction: 11th)
  12. Joey Jay (Preseason Prediction: 11th, Most Recent Pre-Elimination Prediction: 12th)
  13. Kahmora Hall (Preseason Prediction: 10th; Most Recent Pre-Elimination Prediction: 12th)
  • I get my 1st correct preseason prediction, and 6th correct weekly prediction. As if my nemesis going home wasn’t enough. When it rains, it pours.
  • I predicted Rosé 4th, Denali 3rd (lol), Kandy 2nd, and Gottmik for the win way back in December. 75% is still a passing grade.
  • I am staying with Gottmik as my winner, though obviously Symone is deeply deserving. Rosé has been very impressive, and in another season, I might want her to win, but she’s been outshined by Symone and Gottmik, and both have more meaningful and impactful claims to the crown.
  • Who knows what the finale will be, but I am thinking it’ll be on a soundstage with a reduced or empty audience. I think we will get the round robin lip-sync-a-thon they’ve had as part of the finale since season 9. Which of course would mean nobody will go home this episode.
  • With all that in mind, who will be our final 2 queens? I’m going to predict that Rosé out flips and kicks Symone in round 1, while Gottmik will use clever gags to beat Kandy Muse. I have one week left to change it but- Rosé and Gottmik for the final 2, with Gottmik taking the crown. You heard it here and it’ll surely be queer.

LIST

Final 4 Queens with the Most Wins

For my list this week, I thought I’d get real numerical and list the amount of wins for all 72 queens who have made it to the final 4 in the show’s 13 seasons. I starred the queens from this season and bolded the winners. The stats are all excluding the season 13 queens since we’ve yet to see how that shakes out. I put gifs of mostly the winners for each number of wins, unless I didn’t like them, in which case I put other queens. Enjoy!

4: Win-1 of 3 (33%)

Sharon Needles (4). Shea Coulee (9), Gigi Goode (12), Symone (13)*

3: Wins- 7 of 13 (54%)

Tyra Sanchez (Season 2), Raja (Season 3), Manila Luzon (Season 3), Alexis Mateo (Season 3), Bianca Del Rio (Season 6), Adore Delano (Season 6), Violet Chachki (Season 7), Ginger Minj (Season 7), Bob the Drag Queen (Season 8), Trinity the Tuck (Season 9), Aquaria (Season 10), Brooke Lynne Heights (Season 11), Jaida Essence Hall (Season 12), Rosé (13) *

2: Wins- 2 of 17 (12%)

Bebe Zahara Benet (Season 1), Raven (Season 2), Chad Michaels (Season 4), Phi Phi O’Hara (Season 4), Latrice Royale (Season 4), Jinkx Monsoon (Season 5), Alaska (Season 5), Roxxy Andrews (Season 5), Courtney Act (Season 6), Pearl (Season 7), Kennedy Davenport (Season 7), Kim Chi (Season 8), Sasha Valour (Season 9), Eureka (Season 10), Asia O’Hara (Season 10), Akeria C. Davenport (Season 11), Silky Nutmeg Ganache (Season 11), Sherry Pie (12), Gottmik (13)*

1:  Win- 1 of 12 (8%)

Nina Flowers (Season 1), Rebecca Glassock (Season 1), Tatianna (Season 2), Yara Sofia (Season 3), Detox (Season 5), Darienne Lake (Season 6), Naomi Smalls (Season 8), Chi Chi Devayne (Season 8), Peppermint (Season 9), Kameron Michaels (Season 10), Yvie Oddly (Season 11), Crystal Methyd (Season 12), Kandy Muse (13)*

0: Win- 0 of 2 (0%)

Shannel (Season 1), Jujubee (Season 2)

5 key take-aways (mostly for season 13):

  • Symone’s 4 wins is very impressive, but both previous queens who have equaled that feat since the changed finale in season 9 (Shea Coulee and Gigi Goode), have not won.
  • Most of the time, a queen who has won 3 challenges wins it all. That queen this season is Rosé.
  • If my prediction is right and Gottmik takes the crown, she will be just the fourth queen to take the crown while only winning 2 challenges during the season.
  • Kandy would be only the second queen to win the crown with only one challenge win. The only queen to do it is Yvie Oddly in season 11.
  • You really can’t be in the final 4 anymore without winning at least one challenge. The last person to make it there without a win was Jujubee in season 2.

Alright my dears- we are one step closer. My guess is this week’s episode will be our 3rd to last of the season (followed by a reunion and then the finale). If I’m right, start preparing how to celebrate yourself for making it 17 weeks with these queens (by far my longest romantic relationships). On that note, enjoy your week and let the music play!

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