The Golden Boot: RuPaul’s Stats Race, Season 13, Episode 16

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Shocker: the second week of full day in person school was exhausting for me and the children. Thus, here’s a quickie blog I edited drunk after a weird work mixology class. Enjoy!

THOTS

• This reunion felt less boring and janky than last seasons but felt completely devoid of interaction between the queens. A slight improvement in what hopefully is our last Covid Drag Race reunion.

• Tamisha saying she would’ve punched Kandy if cameras weren’t there, followed by her single “Arrogant”, just give a slight hint, can’t quite put my finger on it, that she hasn’t moved past (or wants to profit off of) the fight with Kandy Muse. Fair enough.

• I love Kahmora Hall.

• Lala Ri really shined this episode. She was funny and her song was fire. Denali did beat her in the lip-sync, but I’m going to say a big part of that was due to Denali having better internet.

• The final 4 were barely in this! Symone’s new hair was cute.

CHART

• The chart is done for the season (I don’t count the lip-sync wheel of death finales in terms of points), so I’ll just do a brief vital info only data rundown.

• Rose leads on my chart. The chart is 8 for 12 with the queen with the most points at the end winning. However, since season 8 (the new finale structure started in season 9), only Acquaria has led on the chart and won.

• Symone has 4 wins, Rose has 3, Gottmik has 2, and Kandy has 1. 9 of 12 seasons so far as the queen with the most wins snatched the crown. Again, in the seasons 9-12 era, it has only happened once (Acquaria).

• I would argue that in the season 9-12 era, the performance in the final 4/5 song has a semi-strong correlation with the winner (it’s hard to quantify exactly because Drag Race doesn’t name a winner for that episode). The outlier is Shea Coulee, who did the best in the season 9 song and didn’t win. But Acquaria and Yvie Oddly definitely both had the best verses of the songs in their seasons. Last season’s song was so bad it’s hard to tell who did best. Gottmik, in my opinion, did the best in the song this season.

• Kandy was in the most lip-syncs this season, but she and Symone are tied for winning the most out of the final 4. Rose and Gottmik both didn’t lip-sync for their lives this season (besides episode 1). 5 of the 12 previous winners never lip-synced.

PREDICTIONS

1. Gottmik (=)
2. Symone (=)
3. Rosé (=)
4. Kandy Muse (=)
5. Olivia Lux (Preseason Prediction: 5^th, Most Recent Pre-Elimination Prediction: 5^th)
6. Utica (Preseason Prediction: 7^th, Most Recent Pre-Elimination Prediction: 6^th)
7. Tina Burner (Preseason Prediction: 9^th, Most Recent Pre-Elimination Prediction: 7^th)
8. Denali (Preseason Prediction: 3^rd, Most Recent Pre-Elimination Prediction: 7^th)
9. Elliiott with 2 Ts (Preseason Prediction: 13^th, Most Recent Pre-Elimination Prediction: 9^th)
10. Lala Ri (Preseason Prediction: 6^th, Most Recent Pre-Elimination Prediction: 8^th)
11. Tamisha Iman (Preseason Prediction: 12^th, Most Recent Pre-Elimination Prediction: 11^th)
12. Joey Jay (Preseason Prediction: 11^th, Most Recent Pre-Elimination Prediction: 12^th)
13. Kahmora Hall (Preseason Prediction: 10^th; Most Recent Pre-Elimination Prediction: 12^th)

• I’m super tempted to jump ship to Symone, but I’ll stick with Gottmik. We will see!

LIST

Season 13 Final 4’s Favorite Runways of the season

I’ll release a fuller list I’ve been keeping of favorite runways for the full cast if it fits with future blogs, but here are my favorite Symone, Gottmik, Kandy Muse, and Rosè lewks thus far. Potential future spoiler- Kahmora Hall has the best average score on my runway list. We were rooting for HER. Anyway, enjoy!

Gottmik

So hard to choose because she’s a runway beast, but I still like the yellow runway best (though her beast was a very close second).

Symone

Again, she’s amazing but for me it was between the do-rag train lewk, the gorgeous bead lewk, and her hands up don’t shoot fascinator lewk. I went with the beads but- she’s been doing beautiful and impactful work on the runway all season.

Kandy Muse

It’s been a bit hit and miss for Kandy all season. My favorites were her entrance radio cargo lewk and her magic bag lewk. I went with the magic bag runway for its sleek sex appeal.

Rosé

She actually has the lowest runway average of the top 4 on my list. Like Kandy, for me she has had some real highs and some realer lows. My favorite runway was her beast lewk, where she achieved a perfect matching red outfit and skin.

Alright my dears we are finally at the end! I will have a (maybe?) more soberly authored wrap up of the Moby Dick (take me to dinner first) of Drag Race seasons next week. Until then- let the music play!