Another week, another full dumpster fire of teaching in Covid. Important: Love Island UK season 3 is no Love Island UK season 5 but is way better than Love Island Australia. With that, enjoy!
THOTS
- What a charming and nice premiere! After no one going home until episode 4 last season, it was a well-needed refresh to have someone go home first week, and the half group format allowed us to get to know the queens better than usual. So far this is a quick, funny and comfortable group. Also duh Lizzo is a full treasure.
- Kornbread is a treasure. I loved her from the moment she said “I’m excited to eat all y’all’s craft services’. She’s giving my a Bianca Del Rio-esque edit early on (lovable and nurturing shady maternal figure), which obviously is a very good sign.
- Kerri was full of lovey soundbites (“I am not a ferret!”), and of course looks stupendous. I think she will be one to watch.
- I do worry that she’ll get annoyingly white-privilege quirky, but I did love Willow Pill’s performance. Kornbread described it. It was amazing.
- I do feel bad for Orion, and thought she was more impressive than I had expected. I wish her and all 3 of her nipples well.
CHART
- No crazy all lip-sync episode throwing off my chart! Huzzah!
- Kornbread won. Winners of the season 6 ½ premiere groups (BendelaCreme and Bianca Del Rio) placed 5th and 1st in that season, so Kornbread is on a great track.
- June is our bottom at the moment but obviously she wont be there alone after this week’s episode. Denali won the first lipsync for your life last season (after the premiere twist ones) and placed 8th, so being in the first lipsync doesn’t always mean you’re destined for an early exit. We will see!
PREDICTIONS
- Kornbread the Snack Jeté (Preseason: 3)
- Daya Betty (Preseason: 4)
- Kerri Colby (Preseason: 2)
- Bosco (Preseason: 1)
- Jorgeous (Preseason: 5)
- Willow Pill (Preseason: 10)
- Jasmine Kennedie (Preseason: 9)
- Angeria Paris VanMichaels (Preseason: 6)
- June Jambalaya (Preseason: 8)
- Maddy Morphosis (Preseason: 11)
- DeJa Skye (Preseason: 10)
- Alyssa Hunter (Preseason: 7)
- Lady Camden (Preseason: 13)
- Orion Story (Preseason: 14)
- I was right about Orion. Oh my god, stop with the adoring compliments. You’re all too kind.
- I’ve dug a bit deeper into interviews and pre-season content and I think my Lady Camden prediction holds up. She isn’t mentioned much by the other queens, and on top of that, I think she has an unclear brand (formal lady but also slutty spice girl?), which doesn’t tend to play out well on Drag Race.
- I still think Kornbread is our winner. Out of group 1, Kerri has the next best chance, and Bosco and Willow are way longshots. Unfortunately, I already think June and Alyssa are out of it in terms of the win.
- Group 2 of course is still a big mystery! Angeria, Jorgeous, Jasmine and Deja are mentioned most often in the interviews, which could mean they stick around the longest (I could also just mean they have the biggest personalities).
- I won’t be shocked if I edit my Daya Betty placement in the coming weeks. She definitely has potential, but she came across as quiet in the first look. We shall see.
LIST: Alicia Keys songs
Finally, I wanted to do a lowkey list and predict the lip-sync song for this week’s guest judge, Alicia Keys. No, I didn’t include Fallen. Obviously it’s one of her best-known songs but I just don’t think it would make a great lip-sync song. Why do I give you so much pleasure, but cause so much pain? I know right. Anyway, here you are!
5- Try Sleeping with a Broken Heart
I can’t see them picking this one and it probably won’t make the best lip-sync for tv with its changes in tempo. I just ADORE this song. Dramatic loneliness is one of my favorite pop troupes and she does it expertly her.
4- Doesn’t Mean Anything
This one isn’t well known so I doubt they’ll use it. That’s a shame because it’s an excellent showcase for Alicia’s overdramatic, multi-syllabic sing-yelling, which would be fun to see the queens portray.
3- You Don’t Know My Name
I’ll die if they do this and include the full spoken word interlude. It’s one of the most random and fantastic things ever in a pop song and would make for amazing tv content.
2- No One
Perhaps her best-known song, this one includes a lot of belting that would have the queens emphatically waving their fists and tipping back their heads. I would not be surprised if this is the one
1-Girl On Fire
Yet, this is the obvious choice. This song basically screams “do cartwheels and death drops in this part” and would play very well. Bonus points if they do the Nicki Minaj rap version.
Alright my dears. Stay safe, stay strong, and happy MAL to my DC queers. Let the music play!
Dumb Pop Culture Lists 